Saigon.

Saigon is a city of extremes.  My favourite of which is that between dinners as the boys gloat over their KFC feast as I go out to meet friends for what is expected to be yet more noodle soup. The gloating shall be mine; I meet Glen and Pynar, old friends from Turkey, and am shouted to a ridiculously swish all you can eat (and all you can drink) buffet at the Saigon Sheraton.  Feeling slightly underdressed I decide to go with it and give my most grounded ‘Ow do’ to our neighbouring suited and booted patrons and tuck into 7 or 8 courses of food that puts the most finger licking of chickens (I get to this point and am unsure of which chicken cliché to use? Out to roost? Seem quite paltry? A fowl option? Perhaps I’ll just leave it. Needless to say; the boys were less impressed with their bargain bucket than they had been.).

In Saigon we experience the extremes of serious and sillyness.  A visit to the war museum sees a lot of back patting for the larger of the Watts Brothers after the preserved Agent Orange babies prove a bit too much.  To be fair it’s not for the faint hearted especially if you had family in the war.  Luckily he’s easily cheered by a pint or two around the corner.

Onto the sillyness; our hotel is staffed by two twins (well there would be two of course) who in between near constant giggling manage to find time to educate us in Vietnamese.  More precisely this is limited to saying ‘noodle soup’ or ‘Pho’, ‘Fooah?’ No. ‘Phoooaha?’ No. ‘Foooaaha?’ Nearly. ‘Foooaaaha?’ No.  This will be why all the menus have pictures then.  After our language lesson they move on to stealing our ice cream.  It’s an old move; distract us with phonics and pilfer the dairy products.  Sam doesn’t take this lying down.  You don’t get between the big fella and his food! He bravely goes forth to reclaim his triple choc fudge and promptly returns under siege of very giggly pinching.  A wise move then sees him seek refuge behind Alex (½ his size) who selflessly (or without option depending on your view point) surrenders his nipples to the pinching and saves us all.  What a hero.  What a strange hotel!